How do we cultivate vibrancy?

Firstly, what do I mean by vibrancy? I describe it as being able to access joy and having a 'zest for life' at whatever age we are. It definitely includes finding pleasure in the everyday moments and balancing caring for others with caring for ourselves. It's a place where we feel at home within ourselves and able to respond to life with joy and curiosity, rather than with fear and apprehension.

We all deserve to live a vibrant, rich and fulfilling life.

Why do many women find it hard to access this?

One major reason is our conditioning. There are unconscious beliefs and programmes that we all carry as women that are unknowingly holding us back. The patriarchal society continues to find ways to keep us in our place economically and socially. We are all deeply embedded in this programming across generations and cultures.

Most women were brought up to please others and to put their needs last; otherwise, we were labelled as selfish. As a result, many of us have spent our time nurturing others at the cost of our needs; until something happens to disrupt it. A major life event that stop us in our tracks, like illness, a marriage breakdown or a job loss, makes us realise how we have neglected ourselves. We can begin to identify the beliefs and programmes we have been running that are not healthy for us.

This is what happened to me. Out of nowhere at 42, I had a breast cancer diagnosis. Of course, I knew in my heart it hadn't really come out of nowhere. I had two stressful years where I had burnt out in my career before cancer was diagnosed. It felt like cancer had gate-crashed into my life as an uninvited guest. I went from being okay to feeling in shock and despair.

After some soul-searching, I realised that I had two strong patterns running throughout my life: PLEASE OTHERS and BE PERFECT. These patterns created the perfect conditions to neglect my own needs. I had worked harder and harder to please others and to be the perfect wife/mother/professional.

How did I deal with this realisation?

I had to begin with a new commitment to myself. I was constantly measuring myself up to an impossible standard. I had to choose to think radically differently, changing the negative self-talk and the feelings of inadequacy about not being good enough. I hadn't discovered Logosynthesis® at this point. If I had known about it, I would have been able to find the roots of my negative self-beliefs and cleared them.

Most beliefs are formed early, usually by age 7. Having now trained in Logosynthesis for 13 years and become a Master Practitioner, I can offer clients an amazing way to release the roots of their old beliefs and programmes. This revolutionary approach to healing leads them to discover a deeper connection with themselves. Once we reconnect with our core sense of Self, we can begin to find the vibrancy and joy of BEING and live from there.

Three ways to begin to cultivate vibrancy:

1. Explore your beliefs and patterns

Notice the negative beliefs as they come up. Then pause, connect and ask, "What is the kindest thing I can do in this moment?" Limiting beliefs bring our energy down and keep us stuck. It's time to drop the negative self-talk. It can be helpful to have support from a coach or therapist with this work.

2. Build self-intimacy

If you think of self-intimacy, what does it mean to you? Many of us have literally starved ourselves of love. Start small by asking, "What is the most loving thing I can do in this moment?" Next, make a list of 15 ways you can show love and care for yourself and add the top five to your daily routine.

3. Nurture your younger self

Listen to the core messages you tell yourself and ask

"How old is this little one who is saying and feeling this?"

Our younger self needs our love, support and reassurance before it will trust enough to let more love in. Find a photograph of yourself as a young child and tell her that she is always loved. We all need to feel that we are worthy of love and takes commitment to honour ourselves and to hold healthy boundaries. However, as you practice this, you will notice that you begin to feel different and respond to yourself in a loving way.